Identity

The person you say you’ll never be can so subtly become---unquestionably you. It happens in the most minute moments. The non-earthshattering seconds of thinning pandemonium where actions have a voice and words---spoken and unspoken---a presence. These minor things you say and do towards others. These insignificant things you say and do to yourself. These small things aren’t so easily unspoken or undone. Over time, they define a man.

When I was a child, this lovely vista greeted me through the window of my middle row, right side minivan seat at least once a week, if not more. Quite a trip down memory lane when I visited last year.

Like many human beings, my current state of affairs only vaguely resembles the imaginings of my younger self. Aside from finally achieving a 5"+ vantage point and obtaining that little plastic card that says, "you may insert a key into the ignition slot and move a point-A-to-B-apparatus without getting arrested," not much is dream-worthy.

Like many human beings, there's a significant gap---at times a chasm---between my current state of affairs and where I want to be. Who I want to be.

But as John Newton once said:

I am not what I ought to be, I am not what I want to be, I am not what I hope to be in another world; but still I am not what I once used to be, and by the grace of God I am what I am.

If you haven't already, visit my About page for more background on the concept of this blog. A major work in progress. But when it comes down to it, isn't that the definition of life?